The path that I walked in, no one understands... I feel nothing but full of sorrows.

Recently there is just too much problems. And mainly is just because of relationship. Yes, Relationship. And it's just how funny that I'm actually losing feelings for my own girlfriend since few months back. Every time when there are problems, she will tend to make it big. And worst of all, always hanging the sentence "I'll leave you" or "Let's Break up" at her mouth. I'll always tend to make things better again because I know that I can and just because I love her too much. Now? Things are much more different, until 1 month back when she decided to really break up with me, my heart is already dead. Coming to a point of just giving up.

Guess what? When I met new friends, eventually I met this girl. The way she talks and put a smile on people, really attracts me. But what I'm about to say next, is the worst nightmare and pain that nobody can ever imagine.  We talked to each other everyday, and eventually exchanged numbers. And this is where things gets a little bit Fucked Up. I was so devoted to this girl that when my girlfriend wanted to change and want me back because she loves me a lot, I didn't even think twice about it and just heck care her because my heart was already with this girl.


This girl here, had the same interest and hobbies as I am. Both of us are into music, which is another plus point for me. I talked to her, hang out with her, and that's where feelings starts to come in. I started going head over heels for her, doing the things that she wanted to do for a long time, like writing songs etc. She here, has her own relationship problem, which was exactly the same as mine. Quarrelled everyday, and eventually, shit happens. She broke up one month back, and last night she asked me this, "One day if I have a boyfriend, will you still treat me as good as now?" Which I already knew that most likely she will patch back with her ex. And tada ~ I'm right. I hit the nail 100%. To be honest, My girlfriend wanted me to be back by her side, but I rejected because of this girl. I don;t know what I did was right or wrong, But the way I treat her, is like a princess. And now after hearing what the girl told me, my heart literally sank.

I don't know what to do either. But I guess I had already make the decision. I think it's best if I leave her and just back off. Yes, I may like this girl, but deep down in me, I still love my girlfriend more. Life is just so fucked up. I drank all the way making myself drunk and just forget everything. And now, I guess I had make my decision. I'll win my girlfriend back and guessed what? It's our 25th months together..


To Princess: I hope the choice that you had made, will not make you regret. And I wish you all the best. May our path cross one day in the next life. And last long with your boyfriend. I'll always be there for you as a close friend. Although I may have gone back to my girlfriend, But I just want you to know that I will still help you no matter what. Even if he hurts you, I'll crush his skull and send him to hell. And last but not least, may you be happy always, Don't always cry and be strong. Don't let him hurt you again. Always remember what I said because I won't be there any more to remind you and put a smile on you. And try to forget the boy who puts a smile on you everyday as time pass by... Things will get better I guess....

I'm never once perfect for you..... :(

New year has came. But things got much more worst.. Thinking back about our pasts, trying so hard to be good towards you and things are still being the same. Still remember last time, trying my very best to win your heart. And I remembered you said that age gap is by 2 years and it's impossible. But I convinced you, telling you that age doesn't matter. So long as we have the heart, it will always be good. End up you agreed and we were together. Till now, a lot have changed. Me, Becoming worst, getting violent and angry over small things. Yes, I did promised you that I will change. To be honest, I have been trying my very best to change just for you.

I just feel that I'm stupid and useless. I ain't perfect... Couldn't do anything much. Last time still can cheer you up and make you happy. Now? Cheer you up but nothing works. When you told me today during break time that "He broke up got one good and bad thing. One good thing is that you can be with him, bad thing is he still missed his ex." After hearing this, I was shocked and straight away sad. Because I loved you a lot and I wouldn't want this kind of thing to happened. Yes, last time I had curfew,  but after that I can go out with you till late and even send you home every time. I know, I'm not perfect. Trying my very best to give you happiness. Struggling is a good thing in relationship because it really taught me how to tackle and solved these problems.

I know that I'm violent and get angry easily. I'm a;ready trying my best not to be violent. But most important of all is to control my anger. I need anger management. I just don't wanna lose you. I loved you a lot and never wanna leave you. Just fuck my life. I know, I'm always the one in the wrong. Giving in to you every time and sacrifice myself just to make you happy. I don't want to see you sad or even angry. As there is a saying that goes "When in a relationship, it doesn't matter who apologize first because not that one is wrong and the other is right. It's just that you value your relationship more than your ego". I'm really sorry for all the things that I had done and I just want to let you know that I'm already trying my best to be a better boyfriend. I know that time when you go through all the way just to make me jealous and treat you better.

Yea, I did get jealous, and learnt my lesson to treat you better. So please don't leave me can? Because I really need you in my life and you completed my life. I just wanna spend my whole life with you till I die. I'm really sorry. :'(

 













Please forgive me? :(  I'm trying my very best to make up for my own mistakes that I have done... I really love you a lot and I don't wanna lose you.. :'( Till death do us apart... <3