Second chance or time rewind?

It's been a long time since i last blog. Have been having fun during SCANDAL's Asia Tour @ Lasalle last month ! It was awesome and they rocked my night ! I will never ever forget that day ! After the concert, we had meet and greet session with Tomomi, Haruna, Rina and Mami. I had handshakes with them ! AHHH~!! I will never ever forget this day! 13 oct was the start of their VIRGIN HALL TOUR 2011 and it's gonna end on the 1 dec. If time were to rewind, i would rather cherish the time i had. But its too late now eh?

Time changes now....

Looks like its been a long time since i last blog. yesterday was my most baddest day ever. Went to settle things with haiqal. he almost cried as i told him everything. His bad habit is lying and i dont like it. i was so pissed yesterday that i punched him in the stomach. I told him not to lie anymore and also told him to watch out when he is outside. well, although i say what i mean and mean what i say. after that was the worst one ever. went to settle things wioth ariel to clear the misunderstandings. didnt know that i hurt her alot. made her sad and cause her to quarrel with her father. im a bad guy after all. well, after everything, i went to punish myself, by punching the wall continuously. and wow, my hand almost bleed but just a few more punches and my bones will crack. since yesterday onwards, i swore not to go near her or even contact her. guess that this might be a good way. but now, what im worried is, something shocking is about to happen anytime now. =/

Haruna, Rina, Tomomi and Mami! <3

From the day i knew you till now, i will never regret knowing you even if i were to die......

I really don't know whether i should be happy or sad about it. there is this girl whom i met at the starting of the year. Her name was Ariel. I met her through my friend, Haiqal who was her boyfriend. We knew each other from the day we played badminton together in school. Well, we have been quite close for some time, chatting in facebook and smsing. Guess what? i promise to help Haiqal and her to last long as Haiqal was the sort of a guy who always flirts around with other girls. But instead of helping them, i'm thinking that i was a pain in the ass. I really wanted to help them so much but end up, i fell deeply in love with her. The way she talks and behave, really resembles the girl that i once fell in love deeply with, who was Wan Ting. Well, time flies now and i just think that im just treating Ariel badly. Threatening to die and stuff. I really wanted her to forget about me. I'm just a third party in between them. I blame myself for that. But the more i look at how haiqal tret her, i really feel like bashing him up. The way he tries to act innocent infront of her, and flirting with other girls behind her back, i really feel that she is not being treated properly. He even wanted to buy a couple necklace or keychain for her where he only knows how to flirt behind her back. Not just only this, he also burrows money from Richmond to buy the necklace that time as that necklace was the one he asked me to choose for. But, everytime i told her that it was my fault, she would just say 'No luh... not ur fault..." but it really is my fault. I blame myself for it, i hate myself alot! but now, im trying my very best to stay away from her, just wanted her to forget about me. I sometimes think of ending my life but she always say no and with a sad face.. I really wanted to cry but i just can't. There is a saying that goes "if you really like her, just let her go to find her own happiness". that's what im trying to do now. I know i cant compare with Haiqal. i just wanted bher to be treated with proper care and be happy. But i tell myself this: " Even if i'm really gone one day, i don't regret knowing you. Knowing you was the best thing in my life". Im happy with it. But the way that i am doing now, is it really worth it? Haiqal already knew that i like her. I'm really tired of all these shit. i just feel like ending my life now... :(
To Ariel: If you happen to read this now, I'm really sorry for doing all these. From the day till now, i dont regret knowing you yea? Stay happy always. If im really gone one day, dont cry.You are a big girl now.. and i dont expect to see a single tear rolling down your cheeks yea? I will still look after you somewhere from above yea?  promise me to take care of yourself. Maybe after you have read these, i might even gone now.... :')

Its been a long time since i last blog.haha! Well, time to be serious. I know im kinda 死心塌地, but i just couldnt forget you. I still have feelings for you. I really miss those times we had together.. I really hope that we can be tgth again.. Oh well, i noe its impossible now.. I really want to jio u back again.. I really want u back to my side. I really miss you alot.. :( i miss lying my head next to yours.... I really miss those times.... :(
But no matter what, i wont give up on you. I really love you.. I dont ask for anyth return. I just want you to know that i will be watching over you.

Sorry that i love you.....
Sorry that i hurt you.....
Sorry that i care for you.....

Looking at the past, i realised that i still got feelings for u.... Maybe all this while i was just trying to run away from it... But really, wt, i miss you alot..... :(

IMY..... :(