Untitled

Today's the start of O level. today was O level science practical. Everything was okay but i so called 'screwed' up my physics due to the graph...-.- Well, gonna work hard for theory paper to pass my science. Yesterday night was kinda funny. I told her to tell him to stop staring at me before i go towards him and punch him in the face. Haha! Well, i do have the thinking. Those punches that im gonna give him is not because of i see him not happy, but more of a particular reason, which i dont like guys to treat his girlfriend in a wrong or different way. After O levels i will deal with him. well, we started talking again eh? I just hope that things can go back to how it used to be last time... I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS. If he finds out that you are reading my blog, i cant really help you.

IT'S NOT OVER


My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

The Suicide Circus

This song shows how im feeling everyday. Even now....

Decay of the VISION,

HERE IS A HELL ON EARTH

I FELT A CHILL

THE DISAPPOINTMENT THAT INCREASES

[TICK-TACK…]

NOBODY CAN REWIND TIME.

DON'T LOOK AWAY

SUICIDE CIRCUS

AGED HATRED AND YOUNG COLD-BLOODED MIND

REASON OF THE CHILL

The crawling POVERTY

[TICK-TACK…]

NOBODY CAN REWIND TIME

The shattered MERCILESS SCENE.

People get attracted by the liveliness that seems to choke them.

Even the fear that stuck to your hand I touched

Will fade away sooner or later

METAMORPHESIS

ALL IS PARALYZED

CHAIN REACTION

SYMPATHIZERS WITH A SIMILAR PAIN

Bear the future that won't be saved

And your weakness that went astray

Cut off the depressed self you've lost sight of

And the loneliness you wanted me to experience.

Missing each other in these days of distress,

That suddenly filled up everything in front of your eyes

And your melancholy

Hold this hatred against these words that come from affection

And the exposed madness without regret

I can't return anymore,

I got too entangled in it

EVEN DEATH BECOMES THE PREY

HEARTLESS DAY

BOTTOM OF THE ABYSS

SUICIDE CIRCUS

WHY IS IT REPEATED?

SUICIDE CIRCUS

[TICK-TACK…]

NOBODY CAN REWIND TIME

[TICK-TACK…]

DON'T LOOK AWAY

SUICIDE CIRCUS

People get attracted by the liveliness that seems to choke them.

Even the fear that stuck to your hand I touched

Will fade away sooner or later

METAMORPHESIS

ALL IS PARALYZED

CHAIN REACTION

SYMPATHIZERS WITH A SIMILAR PAIN

Bear the future that won't be saved

And your weakness that went astray

Cut off the depressed self you've lost sight of

And the loneliness you wanted me to experience.

Missing each other in these days of distress,

That suddenly filled up everything in front of your eyes

And your melancholy

Hold this hatred against these words that come from affection

And the exposed madness without regret

I can't return anymore,

I got too entangled in it

EVEN DEATH BECOMES THE PREY

WHY IS IT REPEATED?

[THE SUICIDE CIRCUS]

HEARTLESS DAY

BOTTOM OF THE ABYSS

SUICIDE CIRCUS

WHY IS IT REPEATED?

SUICIDE CIRCUS

JUSTICE DIED

BOTTOM OF THE ABYSS

SUICIDE CIRCUS

WHY IS IT REPEATED?

SUICIDE CIRCUS

The Reason

I once told you that i swear that i hope that the one upstair will give me a reason to screw him up, and here i am, i had a reason to screw him up now. For thinking for so long, finally it's gonna start soon. Just becareful. The one who is very close to you, will get killed. :)

日本と滞在への移行..？

私はいつも日本と滞在に移行するのは、この考え方を持っていた。
シンガポールでの滞在は、どちらか良いことではないからです。
と私はあまりにもあまりにも多くの問題を抱えている。笑い。

私が直面している問題は、愛、友情ですか？笑う
私はのんきなライブをしたい。
私は新しい人生を始めるために日本へ移行したい。

私はそこに新しい生活を始めようとするのすべてを忘れるために試してみたい。
よく、私はそれが私のために可能かもしれないと思う。
すでにボーイフレンドを持っているから。笑い

ちょうどあなたが幸せに見てシンガポールに住んでいる私のポイントは何ですか？
私はむしろ日本に移行し、あなたを忘れるために滞在する。
私は"私はあなたを逃す"ことを伝えるために欲しがっているが、
しかし、今私はあなたにそれを言うことは文句を言わない。笑う。
よく、私は言わなければならないことのすべてだと思います。
私はあなたtpが表示させたくないので、私は意図的に日本にこのブログの記事を行います。
笑う。



私はSCANDAL機能を利用するには日本に行きたい！
私のガールフレンドまたは姉妹がどのように私はRINAを希望でしたか？笑う
私と私の想像力！

Second chance or time rewind?

It's been a long time since i last blog. Have been having fun during SCANDAL's Asia Tour @ Lasalle last month ! It was awesome and they rocked my night ! I will never ever forget that day ! After the concert, we had meet and greet session with Tomomi, Haruna, Rina and Mami. I had handshakes with them ! AHHH~!! I will never ever forget this day! 13 oct was the start of their VIRGIN HALL TOUR 2011 and it's gonna end on the 1 dec. If time were to rewind, i would rather cherish the time i had. But its too late now eh?

Time changes now....

Looks like its been a long time since i last blog. yesterday was my most baddest day ever. Went to settle things with haiqal. he almost cried as i told him everything. His bad habit is lying and i dont like it. i was so pissed yesterday that i punched him in the stomach. I told him not to lie anymore and also told him to watch out when he is outside. well, although i say what i mean and mean what i say. after that was the worst one ever. went to settle things wioth ariel to clear the misunderstandings. didnt know that i hurt her alot. made her sad and cause her to quarrel with her father. im a bad guy after all. well, after everything, i went to punish myself, by punching the wall continuously. and wow, my hand almost bleed but just a few more punches and my bones will crack. since yesterday onwards, i swore not to go near her or even contact her. guess that this might be a good way. but now, what im worried is, something shocking is about to happen anytime now. =/

Haruna, Rina, Tomomi and Mami! <3

From the day i knew you till now, i will never regret knowing you even if i were to die......

I really don't know whether i should be happy or sad about it. there is this girl whom i met at the starting of the year. Her name was Ariel. I met her through my friend, Haiqal who was her boyfriend. We knew each other from the day we played badminton together in school. Well, we have been quite close for some time, chatting in facebook and smsing. Guess what? i promise to help Haiqal and her to last long as Haiqal was the sort of a guy who always flirts around with other girls. But instead of helping them, i'm thinking that i was a pain in the ass. I really wanted to help them so much but end up, i fell deeply in love with her. The way she talks and behave, really resembles the girl that i once fell in love deeply with, who was Wan Ting. Well, time flies now and i just think that im just treating Ariel badly. Threatening to die and stuff. I really wanted her to forget about me. I'm just a third party in between them. I blame myself for that. But the more i look at how haiqal tret her, i really feel like bashing him up. The way he tries to act innocent infront of her, and flirting with other girls behind her back, i really feel that she is not being treated properly. He even wanted to buy a couple necklace or keychain for her where he only knows how to flirt behind her back. Not just only this, he also burrows money from Richmond to buy the necklace that time as that necklace was the one he asked me to choose for. But, everytime i told her that it was my fault, she would just say 'No luh... not ur fault..." but it really is my fault. I blame myself for it, i hate myself alot! but now, im trying my very best to stay away from her, just wanted her to forget about me. I sometimes think of ending my life but she always say no and with a sad face.. I really wanted to cry but i just can't. There is a saying that goes "if you really like her, just let her go to find her own happiness". that's what im trying to do now. I know i cant compare with Haiqal. i just wanted bher to be treated with proper care and be happy. But i tell myself this: " Even if i'm really gone one day, i don't regret knowing you. Knowing you was the best thing in my life". Im happy with it. But the way that i am doing now, is it really worth it? Haiqal already knew that i like her. I'm really tired of all these shit. i just feel like ending my life now... :(
To Ariel: If you happen to read this now, I'm really sorry for doing all these. From the day till now, i dont regret knowing you yea? Stay happy always. If im really gone one day, dont cry.You are a big girl now.. and i dont expect to see a single tear rolling down your cheeks yea? I will still look after you somewhere from above yea?  promise me to take care of yourself. Maybe after you have read these, i might even gone now.... :')